If you are concerned about your parents who live a distance away, here are a few key tips to help you consider moving your elderly parents closer to where you live.
You may have moved away from your hometown, perhaps settling hundreds of miles away from your parents. In other families, parents relocate to a warmer climate when they retire. But as parents require more support and assistance as they age, it might become necessary to consider moving them to a senior living community that is closer to where you live.
Tips for When It’s Time to Move Your Elderly Parents
When you are thinking about if your loved one needs additional support, the first thing to consider is the concept of Activities of Daily Living (ADLs) developed by Dr. Sidney Katz. ADLs are indicators that show a human’s ability to live independently. The activities are scored either zero points if the activity can’t be performed or one point if it can. The higher the score, the more likely the person is able to live independently.
Activities of Daily Living include:
- Bathing
- Eating
- Getting dressed
- Going to the bathroom
- Controlling when you go to the bathroom
- Getting out of bed
Other things you may want to consider are whether they are taking their medications properly and whether they are eating properly. Has their mobility decreased? Is their overall health worsening? Are they becoming lonely or reclusive?
Once you have concluded that moving your elderly parents closer to you is an option, it’s time to talk to your parents about moving. Admittedly, this can be a difficult conversation, but being prepared can help.It’s important to respect and honor your parents and invite their collaboration. Plan to have several conversations over a period of time to allow your loved ones time to process the information.
Doing Your Homework
Before you sit down to speak with your parents, make sure you do your homework.
- Make a list of your concerns as to why you believe their current environment is not optimal for their health and safety. While being honest and specific, try to be sensitive to their desire for independence.
- Educate yourself on living arrangements. Investigate care options near you, depending on the level of care that is needed. If moving your parents in with you is a possibility, this may also be worth exploring.
- Learn about how important a healthy living is for seniors so you can discuss this with your elderly loved ones. A positive environment around friends and family can add years to a senior’s longevity.
- As an example, Sunny Vista adheres to the philosophy that the quality of life is built on five pillars: Social connection, intellectual engagement, purposeful living, physical health and spiritual growth.
- Emphasize to your parents how important it is for them to close by so you can spend time with them and support them in their health. Being around familiar people, such as family, is also important as they age.
Consider Finances: Understanding the Financial Aspects
It’s important to understand the financial aspects of moving your elderly parents closer to you. Costs vary by the level of care (Assisted Living, Memory Support, Independent Living) as well as what is included. Typically, there is a base rate, which includes some meals, activities, programming and utilities. There may be charges for additional support services, like additional nursing care. Start by thinking about the below list and consider consulting with a geriatric care manager or social worker as you consider your options and what your finances will allow for your parents.
- Evaluate the level of care your parents will need in terms of constant supervision or assistance
- Examine your physical health and desire and ability to provide care for your parents in your own home
- Explore services that are available in your community, such adult day services and meal delivery
- Investigate senior living communities that can provide the level care your parents need, schedule a tour, consider the services and amenities as well as activities and dining options the community offers.
Downsizing: Making the Move
Since many parents will be moving from a home to a smaller place, downsizing is crucial. Sunny Vista, we have a wide array of floor plans to choose from. Talk to your parents as early as possible about developing a plan for downsizing and be sure to treat them like adults. Treat their possessions with respect. Even items that don’t have a lot of monetary value may be difficult for them to let go of because of emotional ties.
Once the move is planned, set up a schedule for packing and be prepared to move slowly. Putting pressure on your parents to let go of items will likely be counterproductive. Get as much of the family involved as possible and find a home for items that may have sentimental value whenever possible.
For seniors moving new to spaces, recreating the feel of the home they left behind can ease the transition. Help them decorate with cherished items. Consider digitizing photos on an electronic device that doesn’t take up much space but keeps these heirlooms accessible.
At the Retreat at Sunny Vista, our mission is to provide the care, support and spaces for seniors to live life on their own terms.
Contact us to learn more or to schedule a tour.